L.I.R.V.

 Your mother…language

Day by day it becomes more difficult to ignore all the racism that our world faces, and the levels and degrees of it, according to the features or traits that reveal without words, the long distance to comply with the sacred 1% rule. 

But, have we ever heard about L.R…language racism?

 Or About how obsolete it’s gonna be the action of learning a new language?, because nowadays, as long as you have a phone handy, you are able to immediately translate to each one of the 7000 languages this world has crafted, or at least the ones included in the app of use?

Putting out another challenge for the learners and language passionates, perhaps, bigger than the one of putting yourself out and try to speak a new language, knowing that the path between understanding the grammatical rules, the tenses and even the way of writing the words, doesn’t mean ( in most cases ) that we have the muscles developed to elaborate specific and unknown sounds or positions that the chosen language  demands.

Well, I’ve felt it, not once, not twice, hundreds of times during the long run that it is necessary to learn 6 languages or, when I find a foreigner and, like if I’d found a pearl in the middle of the street; because it’s my chance to put in practice my passion. I jump and start mumbling words in their language, noticing immediately, besides the surprised reaction, a little air of unease or sometimes (unless I’m in a language exchange event or when I find someone proud of their roots) the discomfort in their faces which doesn’t take long to turn into a sudden and evident… so long.

So, While looking at my pearls of growth thrown down, because they couldn’t understand the long path of memorization and hope that every learner has to follow to dare to say a simple: Hello, good bye, thanks or how are you? 

I got the unsolicited opportunity to ask myself, what happens when the scene changes, and someone learning to speak Spanish tries to talk to me in my native language?

Well, as impressive as it might sound ( because I’m sure it’s the first time that has happened to me)  some days ago, someone approached me trying to speak Spanish and I felt a little stream of discomfort all over me, as if at any level some part of my sensitivity was being slapped…while I heard a voice telling me… “like a Language Internal Racist Voice or L.I.R.V.” granted since birth…that the person was trying to mock me.

I tried to minimize the sensation, because that “voice” doesn’t know; how that individual might ignore all the racism experienced along the road for speaking my own language and the voluntary or involuntary attempt to get rid of it…to feel more normal, accepted or at least to bring down that Language Racist Internal Voice “L.R.I.V.”

All this came to me or started because, even though I’ve been an English teacher for several years and speak five  or almost 6 languages, those days someone came and started trying to speak to me in Spanish. I was finishing a musical performance and I was “under the heat” of the moment, and I’ve been trying to guess why it felt so awkward and, I think it was because the conversation started in English then turned into Spanglish and suddenly turned into a massacred “Español” that made me think immediately about the feelings the French might experience with their language learners, and why they are famous for their lack of support with the French learners.

It took me off guard; like seeing a black trying to be president, a woman behind the wheel of a taxi, or a child being as feminine as it can be, because the male standards and detachment of feelings, it’s just not his way.

So, I’ve evaluated myself, as I do when someone talks to me in different languages during the same conversation, and while I tried to follow along, despite noticing the weird feeling in my ear or my brain, and if I’m honest “guessing” I answered all the time in English, because suddenly switch the mindset when your goal is to speak any target language it’s not easy. 

Besides, I was dealing with the L.I.R.V. repeating insistently to myself : “if I wanted to speak Spanish, I would have stayed in my country”. Forgetting how to someone else my language knowledge turns me into a pearl as well.

Since then, I’ve been asking myself if maybe, it would be nicer to ask the other person ( like it’s being promoted when approaching any member of the Queer community) if it would be ok to talk in Spanish or whatever language…to practice it?

Not only to warn the listener, but maybe, if the listener it’s kind and patient enough, to allow him to ask, if it would be ok to let us know if or when a mistake has been made?

Making any sudden language exchange a more enjoyable experience to both parts and maybe open the door not only to a vague practice, but to a real live learning opportunity.

I know that the instinct of knowing all it’s the magic of the human essence. Quite necessary to avoid the dirty talk of the amount of mysteries that we are involved with since birth, like those holidays that are meant to celebrate something while the truth has suffered a complete makeover, or like the fact of calling the beautiful cow meat…”beef”, to feel less guilty and enjoy more. 

Making the self evaluation and proof - error system underrated, even though it’s the only way to grow and achieve any goal.

But the Racism to the sounds created by the air of the land we were born, will not fade by itself and while  courage, technology, fear, challenge, language, diversity, make overs, L.I.R.V. or truth; are just some basic terms from all the magic that this world hides and hosts.

I can’t stop imagining all of the wonders that could be discovered if, like the babel tower, we came together to talk our native or mother languages and stories, without feeling guilty, diminished or judged?

Or is it the only path of change by rioting and creating organizations to feel “proud”of our mother…language too?

Meanwhile, I will continue chasing pearls and saying at least Goodbye in the native languages I know to strangers, so the surprise and the discomfort will be less… because, like in this article; I’d be already saying, Adios.